The Motherhood/Career Conflict Lives in the Body
One of my friends recently shared something that stuck with me.
Her phone vibrated during an important work meeting. It was her child’s school calling. In that instant, she felt pulled in two directions: the reliable professional sitting at the conference table, and the attentive mother wondering if her child was okay.
She stayed in the meeting, but her mind wasn’t fully present. Anxiety crept in as she tried to remain present while silently worrying about what might be happening at school.
If you're a working mom, this moment might feel familiar.
But something I’ve come to understand in my work is this: that conflict isn’t just mental. It lives in the body, too. It can show up as a tight chest, shallow breathing, or a racing heart while you’re trying to stay composed. It can follow you home, even after the moment has passed. Your body doesn’t separate “work mode” from “mom mode.” It carries both.
The Invisible Load Isn’t Just Emotional
Maybe you've come home from a long, stressful day at work feeling exhausted only to immediately switch into “mom mode” the moment you walk through the door. Dinner needs to be made. Your help is needed for homework. Bedtime routines begin. The demands don’t pause just because you’re exhausted. These moments reflect an unspoken reality many working mothers navigate every day. There is often an internal conflict between our professional identity and our role as a parent. Both roles carry expectations. Both feel important. And sometimes, they compete for the same limited energy and attention. Over time, I see how this constant shifting can keep the nervous system in a state of stress, even when nothing is immediately wrong.
The “Superwoman” Standard and Its Cost
Societal messages often make this conflict even stronger. Mothers are encouraged to be fully present, patient, and emotionally available for their children while also maintaining professional competence, productivity, and ambition. Our culture tends to celebrate women who carry impossible loads without breaking. We give them titles like “supermom” or “superwoman.” While these labels may sound empowering, they often reinforce unrealistic standards. Many mothers internalize the expectation that they should excel in both roles simultaneously. When these unrealistic standards are not met, guilt can quickly follow. The “superwoman cape” promises recognition and approval but often at the cost of your nervous system, your sleep, and your overall mental well-being.
But what if strength also includes knowing when to set something down?
Coming Back to the Body
In my work as a trauma-informed yoga teacher, I often guide people back to something very simple: awareness of the body. Somatic mental health is about noticing how your experiences live in your body, not just your thoughts. It’s recognizing that stress, anxiety, and overwhelm all have a physical experience, not just a mental one.
And when we invite curiosity about how the body is responding in those moments, rather than pushing through, we create space for regulation instead of constant pressure.
Gentle Reminders When It Feels Like Too Much
Here are a few gentle reminders that can help when the pressure of competing roles begins to feel overwhelming:
First, try extending the same grace to yourself that you would give your child.
If your child came to you feeling torn between expectations or worried about disappointing someone, what would you say to them? Often, we offer compassion to others far more easily than we offer it to ourselves.
Second, consider starting with one small act of self-care.
Self-care doesn’t have to be elaborate to be meaningful. Sometimes it begins with very small steps. Maybe that’s a minute of intentional breathing: inhale for three seconds, exhale for five. Maybe it’s simply pausing long enough to drink a full glass of water.
Finally, remember that your worth is not measured by how much you can carry.
Not by how much you achieve. Not by how much you can prove.
Your worth is reflected in the authentic presence you bring to each moment.
An Invitation
If this resonates with you, this is exactly the kind of work I hold space for in my trauma-informed somatic yoga classes.
This isn’t about performance or flexibility. It’s about being curious to notice how your body is responding, and how to support it in a way that feels safe and sustainable.
I’ll be teaching a trauma informed yoga class on May 26th, 2026 at 99 Elite, a local partner of Jersey Medical Care and you’re invited to join.
Sign up here:https://bit.ly/3PbaAXB
Sometimes, the strongest thing you can do is take off the cape.
